And no SINGING!
by SomecallmeMichelle
Summary: Dr Heinz Doofenshmirtz and Dr Drakken drive each other mad while they try to go and conquer the tri-state-area and the World, together. (Very late birthday gift for sharper the writer)


"Doof….Doofersmith? Like Mr Smith from the Men In Black movies, because you know he was a good guy and I think that…"

"Not Doofersmith, Doofenshmirtz! Doofen, space Shmirtz! It's german, after all, when I was a small boy in Drusselstein…" - The scientist with the relatively more normal skin tone, when compared to Doctor Drakken's blue skin, got a very far away look in his face, as he seemingly flashbacked to his past. Doctor Drakken, who wasn't as practiced in the small arts of Flashbacking looked at him and his blank stare, mouth open, as he looked for something to say. What was the incompetent nincopoop doing? The bufoon with small aspirations of ruling, over the tri-estate-area and not the world?

After a few awkward minutes of silence, the mad doctor Heinz returned to the space where he was, one of the many secret lairs Doctor Drakken had, and he replied to the air of confusion that the other Doctor had by assuming he had seen the flashback.

"So you see, that was what happened in that day in Drusselstein...I tell you, it was a bad day!"

Doctor Drakken thought it best not to point out to the other evil Doctor that he hadn't seen anything, lest he go on a rant. All mad evil doctors of Science go on rants sometimes, Shego could certainly attest to that, and while Doctor Drakken thought his own rants to be brilliant, he really didn't want to listen to the ones by the apparently german man.

"So you're german, huh?" - A horrible thought passed through Dr D's mind. "You aren't in cahoots with Dr Dementor, are you? Because I tell you, one time me and Dementor got into a little spat, which he" - Drakken mumbled the next few words. - "May just have won…and boy do I REALLY hate him!"

"Dementor huh? What kind of name is that? I don't think I even heard of that man! Boy is there no subtlety anymore? Dementor, really? I mean, geez why not go for dr baddy mc evil?"

Drakken had had the same thought before, and seeing his opinion mirrored in this strange, thin, german man with back problems made him like him. Or at least respect his opinion that was, obviously, a mirror of his own.

"I know right! But he's a real tool!" - Drakken tried to hide the grin that was making its way into his face. - "Anyway, negotiation time, when I rule the world!" - Doctor Drakken spoke with such authority in the matter it was like he had no doubt that he would rule it shortly, even though he had tried to do that before, at least forty times, and his plans had always been foiled. - "I will leave the tri-estate-area to be conquered by you! And you can call it the doof-state-area!"

"Actually I already settled on a name, Doofania!"

Dr D smiled in appreciation.

"Good name, so like I was saying all we need to do is work together, now, I have some magnificent, great inventions, like the portal bee gun. And you have a….if I'm reading this right "conqueratorinator"?

"Yes" - Doof nodded

"I get the conquering part, but what's the inator part for?"

"Oh, every evil invention I make ends in inator, it's like a trademark"

"A trademark…" - Dr Drakken couldn't help the gasp of disbelief that came with the utterance of the phrase.

"Yeah, after all when you hear it, you will tremble in fear...assuming my nemesis perry the platypus doesn't show up and ruin it all"

"Platypus...your nemesis is a platypus?" - Drakken found the man more and more weird by the second, and he had known weird, he had once stayed with Monkey Fist and Duff, and went to the past.

"Well yeah, what, what is your nemesis? Is it a panda? I had experiences with a panda once..." - Doof threatened to enter flashback mode again, as his eyes seemed to get duller and unfocused. Drakken quickly replied, hoping that the fact he did give him an answer would stop the whole flashback, as his previous experience with one were two minutes of "hum" and "oh" as nothing happened.

"No my nemesis is...I mean...is a teenage girl, she thinks she's all that! But she's not! She's just, like, you know, she is a cheerleader captain, so she knows what she does!"

Doctor Heinz Doofenshmirtz, who had never been subdued by the power of cheer practice, found that odd, but then again he had been stopped once before by a teenage girl, something he couldn't help but comment on.

"Oh I too was once stopped by a teenage girl, only I think it was Perry the Platypus in the girl's body, somehow someone must have invented a mind switch machine!"

"I am familiar with the concept…" - Drakken didn't want to admit to having had his own brain switched around before, as it was so embarrassing. Like so the drama. Drakken did his very own dance, by pushing his feet down and stomping them in a repeated manner for what seemed like a minute, as he was frustrated.

"But anyway! With our powers combined, my Bee Portal Gun, and your somethinginator" - Drakken didn't even care to name it correctly. - "We will take over the world!"

"...and the tri-state-area!"

"Yes and the tri-state-area, I thought that was implied I mean it belongs to the world, no, it's like a subregion of a country of the world?"

"Yeah, I was just clarifying, as I say, in song form!" - Doof took a deep breath and some trombones were heard as a song started. It was soon stopped, however, by Drakken, who got in the middle of the dancing trope of women, and waved his hands until they stopped.

"This is a SECRET BASE! How did they even get in here? Did you just send gps coordinates?"

"When do we get paid?" - One of the musicians asked.

"ARGH! Out, out all of you!"

Meanwhile, sitting side by side, enjoying the spectacle two dark haired women, magazine in hands, traded looks.

"So how long until they crack and ruin their plans?"

"15 minutes, tops"


End file.
